HEART-TO-HEART: MY BIG WHY

This life of mine is too short for pity, however this decision is motivated by something that you may find unfortunate or sad. I hope that if you have arrived here; you will read the entirety or at least skim to the bottom so you don’t just click away thinking “poor Erica” because that is the absolutely the last impression I am interested in leaving on you.

Motivation to make a big change had small components that added up over time. I suppose it was more than a handful of years into my career at the elementary level (as an art teacher) when I could feel I was becoming “done”. I needed a change. I didn’t know what it was exactly. I just knew I was looking for something new. I challenged myself to apply for a new position in the district. 

I did not get the job; I didn’t even get a chance to interview. I always tell myself in these moments that this is how it was suppose to be. No mistakes; it just wasn’t for me, but now what?

BECOMING INVESTORS

My husband decided to take on the role of a real estate investor. This was a burning desire for him since the day I met him. He was quite serious and he went for it. He is a true entrepreneur and not afraid of risk like most.

He came home one day and said I could have made as much selling real estate as I could teaching if I would have helped in that year. And my eyes opened wider. I wasn't paying much attention to his side business up until then, but now he had me thinking. I needed to broaden my mindset. There are only so many positions in a school. My options were few if I wasn't going to stay in the classroom.

CROSS ROADS

In the educator world, ideally a person goes to grad school before kids and before you run out of energy for school. Well, that is how I feel about it. Grad school was always in the back of mind. I knew my colleagues were making more than me and working the same amount.  How would I go to school?  Grant was on a wait list for an inpatient facility across the country. Up to that point, trying to get through a Masters program was out of the question. I had just paid off my undergrad off…was I really going to ask the spouse to spend over $12K on another degree? 

REAL ESTATE SCHOOL

I did some research and one day I told Scott (spouse) that I would like to go to real estate school. He was supportive and I got started with an online program. I worked extremely hard and tried to get through it as fast as I could. This was a challenge to say the least.

Every time I had a break (from taking care of  my son solo); I would study. Learning about real estate was a huge learning curve for me. Nothing about this topic overlaps with a teacher career.  I love learning so with all sincerity; this was exciting. 

I passed my state and national tests the first time and was licensed in Aug 2017. (At the time, this was a real accomplishment considering everything going on with my son).

FULL TIME ON DAY 1

They say 87% of agents fail within the first 5 years and most new agents only do a few deals their first year. 

I was very fortunate to obtain business day 1. I listed my first house in St Cloud after a few weeks. I was lucky to “cut my teeth” on my own properties. I didn’t have to test this out on anyone else but my spouse. He could do this with confidence because he has been a loan officer and is in the title business. If he went to real estate school; he wouldn’t learn much because he is already so knowledgable about this topic. He has been his world for a long time. I had to learn as fast as I could to catch up to him.

It would be an entire essay to try to capture everything that I was learning every day of my first year. From helping flip houses, tenant relationships, buying and selling. It was crazy for many good and bad ways. It gave me an internship that was a true blessing.  For those that start a real estate career with no strong prospects; I am in true admiration. I don't know how they do it financially or emotionally. 

I was closing a house a month. I learned how to do the necessary paperwork well because being an investor means constantly looking at houses and writing offers.

Being investor also means everything is a little "extra". I learned about foreclosures, short sales, REO's. I learned how fascinating (and heart breaking) it is to enter a neglected home, but also am humbly reminded that I hate spiders and spooky basements are still scary when you are 40 years-old and hate cobwebs.

I feel truly prepared for whatever could come my way because so much  happened in my first year. Every transaction had some drama. From tenants refusing to move out of properties under contract to houses suffering random and unpredictable problems...it was real life lessons and I am happy that I don't think anything from here on out could be harder or too much more complex than what I have already experienced. 

CAREGIVER FATIGUE

These words once made me cry in front of other people in a meeting. It was true. 5 or 6 years of PTSD like response to watching and attempting to block my son from punching his chin or side of head. Those were not easy days. Every time he punched himself; I cringed. I am good at hiding it. My teeth gnash together every time he gets a punch in. I feel it. My TMJ suffered from my self imposed physical empathy. I would try hard to stop myself. My jaw didn’t need to hurt because his probably did. That is easier said than done. However, my jaw pain doesn’t match how hard my heart was breaking over and over. With every self-blow to his little face. It's unreal. My writing doesn't begin to describe how hard things had become.

If you are not already familiar with my son’s story; then in brief you need to know we are discussing a child. He will turn 12 summer of 2019. He was born with intellectual disability and autism. His brain makes incorrect connections and it’s more like Tourettes because he can’t stop hurting himself. His self-injury requires around the clock support. You will see us constantly holding him to keep him from breaking bones or giving himself brain damage. I wish I was exaggerating however... I am not.

In addition, he stopped eating food the spring of 2016. I thought the self-injury was too much, but here he up’ed the depressing state we were all living in. He shrunk himself down to 52 pds ( 1% body fat). He was 9 or 10 years old at the time. I couldn’t look at him naked because you could make out his skeleton and we couldn’t get him to eat. This forced us to take him to the ER in late June 2016. We had no other options to save him from full self-destruction.

An NG (nasal-gastro) tube turned into a g-tube in Aug 2017. He became profoundly aggressive towards me. Not only is he trying to pull my hair out, he is also still self-injurious and now we had to give him food through his tube. Frankly, feeding him this way was easier than cooking and asking him to eat. However, it would take 2 people most of the time to keep him safe. While things could always be worse...this was begging the question that there was not much lower to go. All of the things in my house were being put away because everything fragile was at risk of getting broken. 

And after sharing this with you, I hope it doesn’t come to much of a surprise that I came to the conclusion it was a bit painful to be an elementary teacher. It was hard to see my neuro-typical students and all they could do. My son was now 10 and he had regressed in nearly every way. From potty training to putting on his own shoes. My son had stepped back years in development due to whatever issue was going on. My mama heart was breaking. I tried to focus on the fact that these children are not my son. Enjoy them like I would enjoy anyone else. I think that is easier said than done. I was tired of being reminded of the differences. Or maybe I was just exhausted. I knew after a short period of being an elementary teacher that it was much more physical and harder in many ways than being a high school teacher. In reflection, I was on a slow burn being sped up by my home life.

THE REALITY

I knew I didn’t want to continue to teach AND do real estate equally, but it is frankly scary to go with a 100% commission job with no benefits.

However, I could not be more excited to continue my real estate business and put teaching career on hold (maybe forever). This will give me the flexibility I need for my son and his special needs. This will give me the newness and excitement I am desiring as an ever changing person. I love helping people and talking to people. I do love houses, but this is secondary to my interest in being of service to others.

I am fully invested financially, emotionally, and my motivation is 100%. Of course, being a mother is #1 and always will be. I believe that the complexities with my son's health and well being are meant for something larger than becoming depressed, sad and hopeless. 

SUPPORT & ACTION

If you can, I’d love to call you my biggest cheerleader. Being supportive and loving of my decision is by helping share my business with people you know that are considering a move or hiring me when it's your time to sell, buy or invest.

Life is interesting. It can evolve if we let it or maybe just find a way to flow with it instead of fight against the changes.  I am so excited to go full-time into my real estate career.

Thank you for listening. Thank you for celebrating this big change with me.